Five Ways to Outfox a Know-It-All

Know anyone who won't let you get a word in edgewise? Ever sit across a table from someone who lectured, rather than conversed? Or has it been impossible to discuss work, health issues, relationships – or, gee, just about any subject -- without a know-it-all in your life telling you you're wrong and there's a better way?

Know-it-alls can be as exhausting as they are annoying. The secret to outfoxing one, communication experts say, is to realize where they're coming from. Try these five tactics:

1. Master the "yes, but . . . "

What that sounds like: "Yes, I see why you think that way, but can you see where I'm coming from?" "Point taken, but can you look at it from my perspective?" "Yes, I understand that you see it this way, but I see it another way."

Why it works: Acknowledging a know-it-all's views, then using a "but" transition to launch into your side of things, can stall some of his or her momentum. Do this with an "I" statement that starts with your perspective: "I see, but . . . " "I understand, but . . . " "I'll consider it, but . . . "

Know-it-alls are often narcissists -- people preoccupied with themselves, says psychotherapist Steve Sultanoff, an adjunct professor at Pepperdine University. "Their brain functions as 'my way is the right way,' even when there's no one right way," Sultanoff says.

Making noises of agreement, without agreeing, allows you to insert yourself and share your disagreement, slowing the onslaught.

2. Present your facts in a nonthreatening way.

What that sounds like: "Well, here's what I know." "Let me tell you what I learned about it." "This is what I've heard."

Why it works: You can't shut this personality type down with direct confrontation, says Simon Casey, a psychologist in San Clemente, California, and the author of Secrets to Emotional Wealth. "Know-it-alls tend to be grandiose egocentrics with an inability to admit they're ever wrong. If you challenge them directly, that's where they thrive -- they'll argue relentlessly to prove their point. "

In fact, he adds, they tend to argue relentlessly to prove a point even if they actually have limited knowledge about the subject at hand.

So saying, "You're wrong!" or "I've heard enough already!" backfires. It's like throwing oil on out-of-control flames.

3. Ask about alternatives.

What that sounds like: "I know you see it that way. How might others in the same situation see it?" "Are there any other alternatives you can think of?" "You do it this way and I do it that way; are there other ways?"

Why it works: By inviting the know-it-all to consider alternative views, you nudge him to adopt a broader perspective. That can sometimes shift him out of the "me-me-me" mode that's so wearisome to hear.

To some extent, this tactic depends on your relationship and how well you know Mr. or Ms. Smarter-Than-You. Some steamrollers will just say, "No, my way is the only right way," whereas others will at least share what they think about a wider range of views.

The know-it-all may still be insufferable, but at least you've moved him or her to wider turf.

4. Initiate a closing without pushing for an apology or a concession.

What that sounds like: "We just see things differently." "I'm afraid we have to agree to disagree." "That's interesting, but I'm not going to change what I do."

Why it works: These pedantic pests are secretly running scared of being exposed as the insecure beings they are -- so admitting their inferior knowledge isn't gonna happen. Rather than pushing for consensus or an admission of error, just call it a stalemate. If you wait for concessions from the know-it-all, you'll be waiting a long time.

The psychological makeup of a know-it-all means they have a difficult time with humility. "They don't feel good about themselves, so they wear a mask that they love themselves -- they're as good as or better than you, as evidenced by their knowledge," Casey says. "The most important thing to them is to be right."

5. Chalk up any continued pontificating to personality -- and realize you have a choice about how much to take.

What that sounds like (said to yourself): "There goes Bob again, monopolizing the conversation -- he can't help himself. " "This is not worth arguing over, but I know my ideas are better." "She and I just see things differently; that doesn't mean I'm wrong."

Why it works: Another way to respond to a know-it-all happens internally: You mentally let it go. Basically this means telling yourself, "This may not be pleasant for me, but the poor guy is doing what he needs to do to get his needs met." Combine this internal empathy (which, admittedly, isn't easy with a bombast) with self-reminders that a know-it-all's lecture-at-you style doesn't have anything to do with you as a person or your own level of knowledge.

At root, it's about them: Conversation-monopolists often literally can't help themselves. "If they can impress you with something you didn't know, they feel good momentarily," Casey says. "They can't help doing this over and over, because their egos are insatiable."

Remember, too, that suffering through a one-sided conversation is a choice, Sultanoff says. "Tell yourself, 'I don't have to be here, but I've chosen to listen,'" he says. Then you can use the above tools to avoid feeling resentful or ignorant. And if you do get overwhelmed despite your careful responses -- and really, who can blame you? -- then it's your choice to say, "Excuse me, that was interesting, but now I have to go."

About the author: 

Paula Spencer Scott, Caring.com senior editor, writes extensively about health and caregiving.

Original Link: http://www.caring.com/articles/5-ways-to-outfox-a-know-it-all

Five Ways To Handle A Know-it-All Junior

At some point or the other, managers have been faced with team members who think they know it all and don't listen to any feedback. ET explores how to deal with this lot.

Look for the Cause

The know-it-all attitude of a team member can stem from a variety of reasons like restructuring of teams, a missed promotion, business reorganisation or a harsh assessment. There are times when the employee may feel he or she has been dealt with unfairly and the grievance may be genuine. "Managers should go beyond what is visible and try their best to understand the team member," says Vijay Bharadwaj, VP, HR, Dell India.

Build a Connect

Building an emotional connect and providing the professional more freedom can do wonders, says Bharadwaj. Getting to know a person better outside of work can build strong personal and professional credibility. "In any case, do not share your perception about the team member publicly as you might change your assessment as you get to know him better," he says.

Give Feedback Soon

Smart leaders cut to the chase and do not hesitate in providing prompt and firm feedback when required, feels Mohinish Sinha, leadership and talent practice leader at the Hay Group for South and South East Asia and Africa.

Assess Targets

Managers should not lose sight of the outcomes the team member is accountable for, and should assess how the team member impacts the team in the long run. "Be sure you are responding due to professional reasons and not a hurt ego," says Bharadwaj.

Performance reviews should be periodic. "If efforts have not worked basis the actions taken, and in cases of serious non-performance, insubordination or interpersonal issues, managers must take action as per organisational policies immediately," says Bharadwaj.

Provide Counselling

Most companies provide options of structured programmes, and mentoring and counselling for such professionals. "Sometimes hearing the same advice from different sources creates a stronger impact," says Bharadwaj. Managers could also turn to seeking feedback and advice from trusted peers or superiors on how to handle the situation.

The Economic Times

Original Link: http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2013-03-05/news/37469958_1_feedback-managers-team-member

Five Ways To Follow Rules of Office Etiquette

(The Economic Times, Mumbai, 04-06-2013)

Five Ways To Deal With Unwanted Advances At Work

In an age when gender diversity tops the agenda at progressive companies, it is crucial for a workplace to be free from sexual harassment. However, an Oxfam India survey shows 17% of working women in India have experienced it. The survey, conducted jointly with the Social and Rural Research Institute, showed that a majority of the victims did not resort to any formal action against the perpetrator. Rica Bhattacharyya finds out how women professionals can draw personal boundaries and stop unwanted advances early on.

1 Don’t Ignore It 

Don’t ignore or laugh off any kind of unwanted advance. “An unwanted advance is a form of injustice. You need to nip it in the bud, otherwise the person making the advances might be encouraged,” says Ruchi Sinha, assistant professor at Indian School of Business and an organisational psychologist. 

2 Listen to your Intuition 

People often rationalise their gut feeling, says Sinha. “Your body knows when you should run away and when you should fight. Listen to it,” she adds. “The earlier such matters are discussed the better the remedies,” says Ramesh Mitragotri, chief people officer, Aditya Birla Retail. 

3 Get Tough Most people look for soft targets. Indicate your lack of tolerance for unwanted advances in casual conversations. “Speak up, even in a subordinate-employee relationship,” says Mitragotri.  “Make sure the perpetrator knows you’re not a weak target,” adds Sinha. 

4 Read up on Policies 

Employees must be aware about the company’s policies on sexual harassment, so they know who to approach in case of such an occurrence. “Read the policies to know the support and mechanism for complaints in such situations,” says Sinha. 

5 Take Precautions It is important to know the culture of the country, profession and the organisation you are working with. Also, set the rules for yourself and be candid on what is acceptable and what is not. “There is a very fine line between your defining what is acceptable and the other person crossing the line,” says Sinha.

The Economic Times, Mumbai, 28-05-2013 

Five Ways To Fall Asleep Quicker

Do you struggle with your sleep? Are you one of the millions of people who consistently toss and turn at night, only to wake up dog tired as if you didn't sleep a second? If you are, then you are certainly not alone.

Poor sleep seems to be a by-product of modern living. It is hard to still the mind at night, when all we do in the day is rush around from one appointment to the next. No wonder we can't settle for a good night of sleep. In fact, most people who suffer from insomnia and nightmares would agree that nights can drag on forever.

While many of these issues are stress induced, they can be treated with the right approach. For some, this means to work with a professional sleep therapist. I do prefer the natural approach wherever possible and have found that if I abide by certain rules, I seem to sleep much better than if I don't.

For instance, if I work up until I go to bed my mind is usually restless making it hard for me to relax and go to sleep. On the other hand, if I meditate before bed, I tend to fall into a deep sleep fast without lying there for hours on end. Here are some of the things I do and please note, taking a pill isn't one of them!

• Meditate Before Bed Time
  Meditation just before bed time is the ideal sleep inducer for me. I find it helps me to calm my mind while keeping me focused. If I tend to worry about something I often find the answer in my meditation quite naturally.
  
  You only need a few minutes to do this. Sit comfortably in a straight backed chair with both feet on the ground. Alternatively you can lie down (make sure to align your body if you do). Now close you eyes and concentrate on your breath. Watch as the breath flows into your body and back out. Follow mentally along on the journey and breath softly all the while.
  
  Don't force your breathing. Also, if thoughts happen to flow into your conscience, allow them and then gently dismiss them. Do this for 5-15 minutes. The more you practice, the easier it will get and the more benefits you will feel.


• Write Down Your Thoughts
  Another great way to get rid of all the daily ballast is to keep pen and paper next to your bed and write down anything that comes to mind before you go to sleep. Don't focus on the quality of your writing, just let it flow and empty your mind of all thoughts, regardless how unrelated they seem.
  
  Some people prefer to write into a diary, while others use a normal notepad. Whatever works for you is perfectly fine. Others yet use a gratitude journal. I love this, because it helps me to focus on the positive things in my life, rather than the negatives.


• Gaze Into A Candle For 5 Minutes
  Going to bed in candlelight is magical. You will be transformed from the starkness of modern life into the middle ages. It helps to reflect on the day just gone and softens the environment. Light a candle as you get ready for bedand then sit and gaze at the candle for 5 minutes while you gently calm your buzzing mind.
  
  Once your head hits the pillow you will probably sleep very fast. NOTE: do not fall asleep with the candle burning!


• Eat Enough During The Day
  Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. If you got to bed on a hungry stomach, you won't be able to sleep well. It is actually rather annoying. To counter this feeling try to eat enough during the day and drink plenty of water to keep your brain cells hydrated.
  
  People with a full tummy (but not too full) sleep much better than those who are starving. Some say that it helps to drink a warm glass of milk with honey before bed. While I liked this idea when I was a kid, I'm not exactly sure whether it really helps or simply tricks of the mind.


• Read A Relaxing Novel
  Novels are great to tune out to the world around us. We can forget all about work, family, money and dive into a world of fantasy and fun. I like to read at least half an hour before I go to sleep. It really helps me to switch off my mind.
  
  While watching TV is more stimulating before bed, novels are less aggressive. They further our imagination, helping us to indulge into our adventurous side, all the while knowing we are safely tucked away in bed.

About the Author:  Monika Mundell is a passionate freelance writer and pro-blogger. Her blog Freelance Writing helps new freelance writers to get started in this exciting industry. 

Original Link: http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/09/5-ways-to-fall-asleep-quicker.html

Five ways to sleep better starting tonight

Many people come to my office everyday with complaints of poor sleep. For most, the real answer does not lie with a pill. Good sleep restores. It not only improves your energy, it makes you a better problem solver and more able to deal with stresses in your day to day life.  Good sleep also makes it easier to lose weight and maintain weight loss. It is important to remember that poor sleep is a symptom, not a disease.  It is a symptom that there is something very out of balance in our lives. Preparation can help bring back that balance and return good sleep.

There are some simple rules to follow that if you stick to them will help you develop good sleep habits.  

1) Prepare your sleeping space
Sleeping room must be DARK and QUIET and COOL.

Keep out extra light, your brain notices extra noises and light. Street lights that shine in our windows, lights that are kept on in the hallway, noise from other family members or neighbors, these can all affect our sleep. You can obtain a sleep mask or if your shades or drapes are not able to keep light out of your room, hang thick blankets over your windows to keep out the light.  Purchase a set of earplugs.  Keep your bedroom temperature sixty-eight degrees or less.  

2) Prepare your mind
Lamps, televisions, computers and phones give off strong lights. The strong light can actually stimulate brain centers that keep us awake.  Turn them down in the evening, especially in the hour or two before bed. The media content (violent or stimulating TV shows, disturbing news reports etc.) can also affect our sleep. Turn off the TV and computer at least an hour before bed.   

For some people, bedtime is when all of their worries or fears come up and their worries prevent them from sleeping.  If this is you, try this:  Get a notebook and in the evening make a practice of spending several minutes writing down the worries, fears and things that need to be done the next day. Read over the list and then put it aside until tomorrow. You can pick up the notebook tomorrow and review and start making plans.  There is nothing more to be done right now.  It is time to rest.

3) Prepare your body
There are many practices you can adopt to help prepare your body for sleep.  Take a hot bath or shower in the evening before bed. Gentle stretching exercises in the evening can help you to sleep better.  You should try side stretches and some gentle stretches for your low back, and some calf stretches before bed.   Chronic pain issues also can affect the quality of sleep, and many medications that are used to treat pain also affect the quality of sleep and make it more difficult to get restful sleep. Discuss with your healthcare provider what you can do to decrease your reliance on pain medication.

4) Prepare to let go of expectations
Sleep is not about control, sleep is about letting go. You cannot force yourself to get a good night’s sleep. When one accepts this, one opens oneself up for better sleep.

5) Prepare for a good night’s sleep by embracing your day
Sleep is not just about our nights it is also about how we spend our days. We all need to have a sense of purpose and mission in our lives. Fundamental to our living well and functioning well, is having something to care about and something to do.  We have to have a reason to get up in the morning and we have to be able to look back at our day with a sense of accomplishment.  Our lives matter and the time that we spend sleeping at night allows us to process and make sense of the many things and people that we encounter during our day, so that we can wake ready to face the next  day’s challenge.


The information contained herein should NOT be used as a substitute for the advice of an appropriately qualified and licensed physician or other health care provider. The information provided here is for educational and informational purposes only. In no way should it be considered as offering medical advice. Please check with your healthcare provider if you suspect you are ill.

Dr. Winbush is a family physician practicing at a community health center in North Minneapolis. She has a strong interest in wellness and patient education to help individuals feel empowered to optimize their health and functioning.

Original Link - http://insightnews.com/health/9324--five-ways-to-sleep-better-starting-tonight

Five Ways To Deal With a Mis-sold Job

“Exciting opportunity! Chance to work with a huge name in entertainment”, said the advertisement that lured fresh mass communications graduate Neha Verma to take up a job in a small company, which she was told was working with a leading channel for children. Barely a week into her job, Neha realised what she had landed into: her job involved ringing up people for feedback on the channel’s programmes. Clearly, Neha was mis-sold a job. Such instances mostly occur at junior or mid-management levels, due to gaps in probing further at a job interview, or desperation to accept an opportunity, says Sangeeta Lala, senior VP & co-founder, TeamLease Services. But for the conned employee, it can be a nightmare. Sreeradha D Basu suggests ways to deal with it. 

1 Find Out What Went Wrong 
There could be three possibilities: the hiring managers were incompetent and made a mistake, the job profile and specifications changed from the time you were offered the job or it’s a serious case of lack of integrity, says Yashwant Mahadik, VP HR, Indian subcontinent, Philips. If need be, he suggests, take the matter to the people above those who hired you. 

2 Talk to Senior Managers 
See what can be done to make the job richer or more interesting. “Fair managers in a good company will do something to correct their mistakes and there are chances that you will land up rectifying the situation,” says Mahadik. 

3 Explore an Internal Job Transfer “It’s better than showcasing a short stint on your CV, which can be costly to career momentum at later dates,” says Lala. 

4 Quit, if Need Be If you were deliberately misled, you should explore your legal options. “Try and go back to your earlier job or find some other job. No point in staying with such a company for a single day,” says Mahadik. 

5 Play it Safe 
Both Lala and Mahadik say it’s essential to be careful during the hiring process. Always discuss job responsibility, job title, salary and growth path with the reporting manager and the HR and when you get the offer, check that they match the job description. “It’s important to keep papers handy. In case of such a nightmare, if you don’t have the papers, you can’t prove anything,” says Mahadik.

(The Economic Times, Mumbai, 29-03-2014)

Five Ways To Deal With Pushy Peers

In an increasingly competitive work environment, one is bound to come across peers who want to stay ahead of the curve at all costs. It is great to be ambitious, but an excess of ambition could be troublesome for these professionals and others around them. ET finds out how to deal with such colleagues. 

Find out why

In 'How to win Friends and Influence People', Dale Carnegie wrote about how we can gain cooperation by seeing things from the other person's point of view.

"By understanding the reasons behind our colleagues' over-ambitiousness, we might be able to deal with them more harmoniously," says Pallavi Jha, chairperson and MD of Dale Carnegie Training India.

Focus on your work

As long as one's work is not going unnoticed, one does not have to deal with over-ambitious colleagues. By paying attention to them, one is giving them undue importance.

"Focus on one's own work and let that speak for success," says Jha. Sugandha Singhal, a VP in the investment banking division at RBS, always puts her personal development plan in place and runs that through the manager to avoid a clash of interests. "That shows how well prepared you are," she says. 

Rely on documentation

If your colleagues tend to take credit for all the work done, make sure you document task-related conversations to the extent of clarifying who has done what task.

"In order to maintain transparency, circulate these in the form of emails to all concerned. That would ensure no one takes undue credit," says Jha.

Volunteer to chip in

Singhal volunteers to work on projects with such colleagues. "This makes them realise that there are others of equal calibre," she says. Such professionals tend to act like they are superior to their peers, so she questions them often, and politely refuses their unreasonable demands.

"By sharing information with them and asking for additional information, one can convey that one treats them as equals," she says.

Go to the higher-ups

If your over-ambitious colleague is constantly stepping on your toes and getting away with it, try and have a one-on-one conversation stating your discomfort. "If they continue, discuss the issue with your boss or the HR department.

Inform your colleague that you're going to discuss this matter with the higher-ups and make the escalation sound like a concern rather than a complaint," says Jha.

(The Economic Times, Mumbai, 02-04-2013)

Five Ways To Get the Most out of Mentoring

A few months into his first sales job at an FMCG firm, Shashank Prasad requested his senior to be his mentor. The mentor taught him to deal with difficult dealers. “It would have taken me long to learn these things on my own,” says Prasad. Your organisation may or may not have a mentoring programme, but having a senior help you out is a big advantage. Sreeradha D Basu tells you how to get the most out of it. 

1 Be Proactive Unless your company has a formal process, hardly anyone is going to volunteer to mentor you. The mentee needs to take the first step. 

2 State your Objectives “Senior executives are busy. Get to the point fast and state the mentoring and current session objective clearly,” says Nandan Savnal, MD of consulting and training firm PeopleSys. 

3 Set Shared Rules The rules could be on privacy, timings, issues brought up during mentoring, documenting things, etc. “Mentors hate mentees who take their time and do not go through the agreed agenda,” says Savnal. 

4 Be Curious Mentees should ask mentors to show them how they are able to display competencies consistently, says Prashant Deo Singh, head – HR & general affairs, Panasonic India. 

5 Respect Boundaries Always respect the mentor’s seniority and time. “This is not a place to complain about your boss, a colleague, etc,” says Savnal.

(The Economic Times, Mumbai, 15-02-2013)

Five Ways To Deal With Ex-Peers as a New Boss

When a colleague and peer becomes a boss, it could lead to people issues at the workplace. Rica Bhattacharyya finds out how such a new boss can manage team members, who until recently were his friends.

1 Take Charge The new boss must gradually establish authority. “The recognition that you are now the boss will naturally come to your ex- peers... It is for you to take immediate cognisance of this and take charge,” says Pavan Mahajan, EVP & CRO, Aspire Human Capital Management. Have a plan in place for the team to function more effectively, says Asif Upadhye, CFO at employee engagement firm Never Grow Up.

2 Be Approachable The new boss must maintain communication with the team and empathise. “Your team knows your work style and has a perception about you as a peer. Absorb those inputs. Ask them how they feel about the recent change and if there are any issues bothering the team,” says Upadhye. 

3 Maintain Discipline Discipline has to overrule personal feelings, says Mahajan. At the same time, stand up for your team. “No matter how you felt about your peers in the past, focus on the collective strengths of your team rather than individual areas of improvement while having the courage to draw the line to your team on work deliveries and deadlines,” adds Upadhye. 

4 Earn Respect A new boss should be focused on the departmental and organisational goals and on welfare of staff. Also, the new boss must earn respect of former peers. “Constant and clear communication, fair practices and how well you handle the task will get you the respect you deserve,” says Mahajan. 

5 Stay Friends It is possible to still be friends with your once-peers. “All you need to do is clearly outline expectations early on and maintain a certain balance between personal and work conversations. Your role may have changed. You need not,” says Upadhye .

(The Economic Times, Mumbai, 12-02-2012)

Five Brilliant Ways to Be Strong in Hard Times

Everything is going to be alright, may be it won’t happen today but eventually everything is going to be fine. Sometimes in our life, it looks like everything is falling apart and whatever you do fails. But you need to be strong in such hard times. It’s the hardest times that teach us the most valuable lessons of our life. Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today. You must be thankful for the hard times as they can only make you stronger.

Strength doesn’t come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. So learn to be strong even in the hardest times of your life. Don’t worry about the hard times. Because some of the most beautiful things we have in life come from only changes and mistakes. So you need to understand the value of hard times and how it helps and ultimately be strong. Here are 7 brilliant ways you must remember to be strong in hard times.

1, Remember, Hard Times Don’t Last Forever.

As previously mentioned, everything is going to be alright.  May be not today, but eventually it’s going to happen. Your strength is not in the way you surrender, but in the way you fight with the difficulties. Hard times is not going be there in your life always. It’s only you who can make it stay in your life for a long time. You need to learn how to be strong in the hardest times of your life. Because this is something only you can do. 

You can only make yourself stronger. Not anybody else. You can’t give up. Because anyone can give up. This is perhaps the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that is real strength.

2, Remember, Every Struggle in Life Only Makes You Stronger.

Struggles increase your inner strength. You can’t always realize what you can do until or unless you get a chance to actually do that. The hard times in your life gives you the opportunity to prove yourself. Every struggle in your life makes you stronger and helps you become more confident and productive. Hard times helps you realize your inner strength. Remember, Hard times don’t create heroes. It is during the hard times when the heroes within us is revealed. 

Be strong because things will get better one day. It might be stormy now. But it can’t rain forever. It’s really hard to believe that the most important lessons in your life you learn only through hard times and struggles. So discover your inner strength and find out what you can for yourself in best way possible. The most difficult phase of life is not when nobody understands you. It is when you don’t understand yourself.

3, Stay Positive with all Your Positive Thoughts.

Don’t wish away your days waiting for better times ahead. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. This is in your hand to live it in the best way possible. Don’t keep negative thoughts and wait forpositive times. Learn to make your negative thoughts positive. Just because something is not happening for you right now, doesn’t mean that it will never happen in your life. You will never get positive results withnegative thinking. Be strong enough to believe in your inner qualities.

Be strong to think highly of yourself. Because the world takes you at your own estimate. The struggles you face in life are not supposed paralyze you. They are supposed to help you discover who you are.Positive thinking is not about expecting the best to happen every time. Be strong enough to believe that whatever happens in your life is the best for this moment. Whatever life gives you, even if it hurts you, just be strong and act like the way you always do.

4, Find the Right Person to Be with You.

You can’t love everyone. But can’t leave someone who never leaves you in hard times. You can’t leave someone who always gives you the right lesson. True friends help you understand your inner qualities. They help you become more productive. Right guidance can solve even the most difficult problems of your life easily. So it’s very important to find the right person to be with. True guidance helps you become stronger and more productive. 

It’s not about finding someone who won’t fight with you or make you sad. It’s about finding someone who will still be standing there wiping the tears away, holding you in their arms after a fight. The person who will never leave you. It doesn’t matter how hard things get. Be strong and live everyday of your life as the last day of your life. Don’t be afraid of hard times that comes in your life only to make you stronger. Live withno regrets. Because everything happens for a reason. 

5, Learn to Smile Through the Hard Times.

A smile is the first thing to fixing things. The trick is to enjoy life by noticing what’s right. Sometimes you just have to smile to make things easier. A smile is a gift to yourself in hard times. A smile acts like nothing is wrong or everything is going to be fine. Peace begins with a smile. A smile is perhaps the most beautiful expression in the world. 

Be strong and learn to smile through the hard  times. Let your smile change your world and don’t let the world change the way you smile. Smile at things that make you sad. Sometimes hard times don’t seem to get any better. But a smile is the first thing that can make the things easier to solve. Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile. But sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

When times get hard, don’t give up. Smile and start fighting until you win. You might make a lot of mistakes. But this is first step to unlock your inner strength  If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, it means that they have never tried a new thing in their life.

Original Link: http://uniquelifeguide.com/2012/12/ways-to-be-strong-in-hard-times.html/#more-4172

Five Ways To... Crack a Phone Interview

In a super-competitive market, the phone interview is increasingly being used by hiring managers for the first screening, and in the process, the first stage elimination as well. Sreeradha D Basu gives you the low down on how to ace a phone interview and swing the selection process in your favour. 

1 Get Serious Treat telephonic interviews the same way as you would a face-to-face interview. “This includes things like keeping your resume handy, making sure you get the name and designation of the interviewer right and avoiding multitasking,” says Makarand Khatavkar, MD and head – HR, Deutsche Bank. He adds: “I actually advise people to dress formally for telephonic interviews – this will make a huge difference in the way you come across to interviewers.” 

2 Tune out Distractions 

While taking the call, ensure you are in an area where you can speak without interruption. Use a landline if possible. If you’re at home, turn off the TV or music system, and the call-waiting facility on your mobile. The regional operations head of a leading bank recalls he was once taking an interview where there was a constant background noise. At one point, he even heard the interviewee muffling the receiver and ordering for a coffee. “It shows a complete lack of respect,” he says. 

3 Be Positive 

A hello and even a broad smile when on a call often compensates for a physical handshake. “Research has shown that smiling on the phone creates a positive image. Smiling will make you sound professional and confident. Talking on the phone isn’t as easy as it seems; speak slowly and enunciate clearly,” says Khatavkar. 

4 Listen Keenly 

Ajob interview is a way to sell yourself. Listening is therefore very important. “Focus on what is being asked and respond clearly. Avoid the temptation to fill pauses, and take time to articulate your response. Remember, first impressions count on phone lines as well,” says Khatavkar. 

5 Take Follow-Up Action 

At the end of the call, thank the interviewer for his or her time, reiterate your interest in the job and request a face-to-face interview. Get a contact number as well. Being hands-on in following up can help your chances of landing the job.

(The Economic Times, Mumbai, 25-01-2013)

Five Ways To Break the Bad News

When times are hard for businesses, leaders have to often fire an employee or refuse a bonus. Rica Bhattacharyya finds out how best to handle the unpleasant moment . 

1 Tell them Early 

Sharing bad news at the end of the day may leave co-workers upset, giving room to more questions, says VD Wadhwa, MD & CEO of Timex India. 

2 Prevent Rumours A leader must break the news to the entire group at the same time. “This ensures each employee takes notice of the same words and doesn’t allow the rumor mill to take control,” says Wadhwa. 

3 Take Ownership 

“The worst is when you didn't have anything to do with the decision. You might not be able to share the whole story, but you should be able to explain what caused it,” says Sudhir Dhar, associate director & head – HR,Motilal Oswal Financial Services. 

4 Highlight Positives 

“If a boss has to ask a team member to leave, he or she can talk about the high potential of the person which may not be required for the role,” says Dhar.

5 Avoid Blame It is very important that no employee should be labeled or given any kind of blame. “Sooner or later the bad news is forgotten, but the labeling remains in the mind of the person,” says Dhar.

Five Ways To Crack the CAT Interview

Getting a good score in CAT is just half the battle won, as all premier institutes assign an almost equal weightage to the written ability test and the CAT interview for admitting candidates. Team ET offers tips from faculty members and successful candidates on how one can tackle them.

1 Brush up General Info It is crucial to have a grip on current affairs and general knowledge for the written ability test (WAT). A student at IIM Indore, for instance,was asked to write an essay on whether sex education should be introduced in the school curriculum. 

2 Back up Facts Interview panelists look for the ability to back your arguments rationally, factually and consistently. A candidate from Bihar recalled some figures on crime control rates and medical aid to provethings had improved in the state. “I could substantiate my arguments with facts,” says the candidate, now at IIM Bangalore. 

3 Know your Subject Interviewers may quiz you on basic topics and if you fail to reply, it doesn’t show you in good light, says Manek Daruwala, founder-director, TIME. 

4 Have a Roadmap It’s important to have a plan for your future in place. "I received an interview call from IIM Indore two years ago, but did not fare well as I did not sound serious enough about applying for an MBA,” says the IIM-B student. 

5 Talk about your Work Questions to students often revolve around work experience and behavioral science. “IIM-A faculty believes that if a student has work experience, he can learn better,” says IIM-A admission committee chairperson Prof Arnab Laha.

(The Economic Times, Mumbai, 15-01-2013)

Five Ways To Enlist Pros who Avoid Teamwork

Being open to collaborations help managers move up the corporate ladder, but at times team members resist the idea. Anumeha Chaturvedi suggests how managers can take corrective action when team members want to fly solo.

1 Find out Why It is important to assess the reasons behind the behaviour of one who avoids working in a team, says Amit K Nandkeolyar, assistant professor of organisational behaviour at ISB. He or she can be given counselling based on the nature of the problem, he says. 

2 Tweak Reward System Managers can tweak the reward strategy at the start of the year by linking a part of the pay to collaboration, says Nandkeolyar . Companies could also have a peer evaluation system in place for team members. 

3 Tie up Goals The individual’s goals can be linked to that of the organisation and managers should explain the merits of working as a team member, says Harshit Bhavsar, MD of HR solutions firm Universal Hunt. 

4 Provide Mentors Initiating greater participation for the go-solo team member through crossfunctional platforms and committees will foster a sense of belonging. “This should not be outsourced to consultants,” says Bhavsar. 

5 Identify Strengths If a team member is good at certain things, but lacks the ability to collaborate, the manager could move him or her to roles that best suit the person in the company based on individual strengths.

(The Economic Times. Mumbai, 22-01-2013)

Five Ways To Manage A Perfectionist Manager

It is crucial for a boss to tactfully handle a perfectionist team lead or a manager so that his traits can be used in a constructive way, without it demoralising the team. Rica Bhattacharyya finds out ways to do so.

1 Detail Task To curb fastidiousness of a perfectionist, a leader could himself do the necessary detailing required for tasks. “Develop a ‘role matrix’ and support it with a structured scorecard,” says Adil Malia, group president — HR, Essar Group. 

2 All-Round Feedback A perfectionist manager will not be able to handle direct criticism and hence a leader could introduce collective feedback. 

3 Personal Intervention A perfectionist manager’s boss can hold meetings with him and his team members. “This would help in reassuring other members,” says Malia. 

4 Be Constructive A boss can encourage perfectionist team members as they bring in an element of quality which an efficiency-oriented team member may lack, says Dhruv K Desai, senior VP and head, HR and leadership academy, Angel Broking. 

5 Identify Buddy A leader can identify someone the fussy team member respects and identifies with, ensuring another channel of communication is maintained, says Desai.

(The Economic Times, Mumbai, 18-01-2013)

Five Ways To Have a Strong Campus Hiring Programme

It’s placement season once again, and a good campus hiring programme can ensure that the company gets the right talent and adds value to the business. Sreeradha D Basu explains the essentials of a strong campus hiring programme. 

1 Shortlist Well Selection rigour is a must. “While evaluating any campus on the list, we check out their policy: how they screen students, their criteria for admission etc... If the institute doesn’t monitor the input, the output is of poor quality,” says A Sudhakar, senior executive director – HR, Dabur India. 

2 Describe Roles Clearly Companies should share as much details as possible about the opportunities on offer. “Students very often have multiple options and the more clarity they have about the job they are getting into, the more comfortable they feel in applying and accepting offers,” says Sapna Agarwal, head — career development services, IIM Bangalore. 

3 Be Consistent Over time, companies earn a ‘campus reputation’, which is formed through feedback from senior batches or peer feedback, says Agarwal. Most students apply based on this impression and not so much the market feedback, she adds. 

4 Focus on Internship The best way for a company to assess talent and be assessed is to have an internship programme. “Even if our hiring plans are limited, we take on a minimum of 25 interns every year. They serve as our ambassadors on the campuses we visit,” says Dabur’s Sudhakar. 

5 Make Orientation Click A good on-boarding programme should include sharing the company culture, interaction with the senior management and discussing what makes the company tick. “The image the new recruits form at this stage is what they carry with them for long. Also, this is what they pass on to their juniors,” says Agarwal.

Five Ways To Beat the Blues, Post Holidays

Soon after the holiday season ends, the back-to-work blues take over. Shreya Biswas offers some tips on easing into the process.

1 Keep a day for Yourself Plan your holiday in such a way that you dedicate a day to yourself before you join office. “Address your personal commitments. It will help you sink back to your work without feeling the pressure,” says Zacharias Cherian, country HR director – Agilent Technologies. 

2 Share your Stories Connect with your colleagues informally. Share your holiday experiences. “The story-sharing will help you get back your interest in work,” says Shalini Sarin, VP, HR, Schneider Electric. 

3 Take Stock Clearing e-mails needs to be one of the priorities when you return to work. “Take a day just to reply to those and figure out what has been going on while you were away,” says Cherian. 

4 Get Back Slowly Don’t immerse yourself in work the day you join. “Don’t get into meetings right away, instead prepare for them and then call for one,” says Sarin. 

5 Prioritise Address the most important issues first. Meeting one or two of your most valuable customers or taking stock of how much work is done on an important project, for instance. “It will give you a feeling of being in sync with what is happening around you as you get back,” says Cherian.

(The Economic Times, Mumbai, 04-01-2013)