Five Ways To Agree to Disagree With Boss

HAVING DISAGREEMENTS with your boss is part and parcel of professional life. In an organisational culture which encourages differences rather than compliance, bosses welcome contrary views and are open to an alternative solution. But in organisations where you are confronting a not-so-openminded boss, you need be handle the situation with care to avoid an ugly outcome. Experts tell Sreeradha D Basu how to go about it. 

1 Don’t Do It Publicly Never disagree with your boss in a meeting or in front of others. “Request a private meet to discuss such issues," advises Vinay Grover, CEO of executive search firm Symbiosis Management Consultants. “Also, it’s much better to put across your differing views face-to-face, rather than over e-mail or phone," he says. 

2 Start on Positive Note Always start such a conversation with your boss on a positive tone. This helps reduce resistance, more so, if you are dealing with a boss with a delicate ego. "It’s much better to start out highlighting the positives or complimenting the boss on his/her analysis or opinion before politely trying to put your point across," says Grover. 

3 Do Your Homework "Have your facts and figures in place and make sure you have all the necessary data to back up your argument. The more organised you are, the better," says Arvind N Agarwal, president, corporate development and HR, RPG Enterprises. Try to put across the point that you are being helpful, rather than critical. 

4 Bide Your Time Sometimes, if you have that option, it is prudent to listen and then come back to the boss in a few days time instead of reacting right then. "Let that moment pass over. Come back in a few days saying ‘I have been thinking it over and there is another way you could look at’. That then, is your moment and there is a better chance of your boss listening to your views," says Agarwal. 

5 Know When to Quit At the end of the day, your boss gets the final vote, so notwithstanding the most logical arguments, you may still be required to implement decisions with which you disagree. Needlessly going on and on under such circumstances can be counterproductive and may prove to be damaging. In such a situation, it’s best to stop pushing and just let it go.

(The Economic Times, Mumbai, 26-06-2012)

Five Ways To Communicate Effectively With Your Partner In An Argument

Keep these tips in mind during your next heated discussion

Fights are a natural, yet unfortunate, part of every relationship. While disagreements happen, there doesn’t have to be as much collateral damage as you might think. Learn how to tame even the most intense of arguments with these five quick methods.

1. Respect Your Partner 

Even though you may never know exactly where he or she is coming from, you should always respect your partner’s point of view and allow him or her to express those feelings. Listen attentively when your partner speaks, and maintain a comfortable amount of eye contact. Let him or her know that you understand what is being communicated by nodding and offering your input at appropriate times. Attempting to understand your partner’s point of view goes far, even if you don’t agree with it.

2. Be True to Yourself 

While you give respect to your partner, you are entitling yourself to just as much. When you share your feelings with your partner, he or she should allow you to finish your expressing your thoughts and respect your point of views as well. Never be afraid to speak your mind and address problematic issues that are of importance to you. Demand the same respect from your partner that you give, and you are on the right track to a loving, open relationship.

3. Find Time to Talk With Each Other 

It’s very easy to get sucked into the daily routine, especially as work and children are thrown into the equation. It only takes a couple of minutes to acknowledge each other and share the slightest amount of information with your partner. It keeps a sense of intimacy between you two and enforces moving forward together. By doing this, you will have an easier time referencing where your partner’s emotions are coming from during serious conversation.

4. Keep Your Tone Neutral 

It’s difficult not to raise your voice when you are angry and involved in an intense argument. You should refrain from this as much as possible, though, and try to keep your cool. By being firm, yet calm, it makes it easier for your brain to absorb your partner’s ideas and keeps your partner from growing too angry. It’s very difficult to yell at someone who doesn’t yell back. Staying calm will set the entire tone to your conversation and ensure that your issue is solved as effectively as possible.

5. Resolve Lingering Issues 

If you don’t resolve large issues in a timely manner, it’s tempting to bring them up during heated conversations. As your resentment for your partner grows because you two are neglecting this issue, it also makes it impossible to move forward together. Work together to solve issues that. Don't let bad feelings fester and grow into resentment. The quicker you settle issues in a way where both parties are happy with the end result, there is a lesser chance of an issue resurfacing down the line.

While relationship issues are inevitable, you can keep your arguments as few and far between as possible by keeping these tips in mind. It’s also important to remember that your partner cares for you and by working together, you can get to the bottom of even the worst of fights by remaining calm and maintaining emotional control over the situation.

Source: http://www.livestrong.com/article/9152-communicate-relationship/